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Image by mika mamy from Pixabay

Image by mika mamy from Pixabay

Image by Taco Fleur from Pixabay

Image by Taco Fleur from Pixabay


There once was a man who lived alone. Now there is nothing inherently wrong with living alone unless it is merely due to a fly phobia (Pteronarcophobia, I looked it up!). A fly is an annoying thing. A fly is a nasty thing. For our friend living alone, as it were, flies were the enemy. One advantage of living alone is the absence of people coming and going. Hence less opportunities for flies to enter. He had his food delivered once a month and never left his house. It gave him one chance in thirty for flies to get into his house. And he never removed the garbage.

He spent his days working from home and chasing flies with his trusty flyswatter. But as these things go, whenever he killed one, it seemed two more would appear. The math never really worked out. And because our friend never left his house, the garbage would accumulate.

Well our hero reasoned that he needed some exercise, and since being outside was out of the question and a gym membership was out of the question, both required opening his door, our friend ordered some kettlebells from Amazon. He promptly downloaded workouts and then he set about to get some exercise, the Kettlebell Swing largely being his favorite. He liked the feeling of the weight swinging in his hands.

He had a thought.

“What if I kill these flies with this 35lb kettlebell, that will really do the trick. They won’t multiply then. Boy will that teach those nasty flies a lesson.”

And so, he did.

Whenever he saw a fly, instead of the swatter, he reached for the kettlebell.

At first, he missed a lot, and as the collateral damage began to accumulate, his accuracy improved as well. His lamp shades, however, were all broken. His artwork was damaged. His TV smashed. He had made huge divots in his walls, and dents in his dinner table. The windows of his home were all cracked and broken clear thru in a few places. By killing flies in this manner, he was also ruining his house.

And he still had flies. More than ever.



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